Views of love and marriage unique to Japan

Views of love and marriage unique to Japan


The feeling to be in love is common in all countries, but the view of love and marriage will be different in all countries. 
 
How do people from other countries think about Japanese love style? I think they will be surprised and can’t understand about it. 
 
This time, I will introduce the views of love and marriage for Japanese people. 
 
 

“Step-up” method

 
愛のインストール
 
Japanese love has basically “Step-up” method. 
 
“Step-up” method means it has steps until marriage: First, after having confessed, relationship begins. second, go on a date several times. third, propose marriage from men. last, gets married. 
 
From a vantage point of westerners who wants to love someone freely, I think that this method will be too formal. 
 
 

Declaration of love

 
愛の告白
 
Actually I can’t say that almost Japanese people are conscious of this method, but the relationship of girlfriend and boyfriend is generally very special, so women or men have to make a offer for dating. 
 
EX:”I’m in love with you. I want you to go out with me.” 
 
In Japan, it says “告白”(kokuhaku), it means convey own feelings to her/him. 
 
If she/he accept, they will become couples. 
 
If there is not a complete flow, they may not be an official couples even if they do things like couples including physical relationships. 
If the persons keep a relationships with her/him without consent, Japanese people are thinking that it’s not good things. It’s a view of love unique to Japan, isn’t it? 
 
 

Marriage

 
結婚
 
The opinions of many people from other countries: “Japanese people aim at the marriage from a beginning”. 
 
Especially, Japanese women are looking for someone to marry on 20s, and mid-20s and late 20s are said to be marriageable age of the marriage. If women have boyfriends, they feel impatience and may ask for marriage. 
 
So, why are Japanese women particular about marriage? 
The reason: by registering a marriage, women feel relief by document. 
 
Unmarried couples can break up with her boyfriend/his girlfriend easily, but married couples can’t do it. 
Recently, there are some couples that live contractually as “married couples” even if they don’t like each other. 
 
This is because the divorce has many demerits for a woman and there are no systems for women who live alone in Japan. 
If men/women have heavy risks when get a divorce, many people will choose to endure it and to stay together with partner. 
 
In addition, when men think of divorcing women, men may have to pay a lot of money for women if men can’t find fault of women. 
 
As I told you earlier, there are no systems for women who live alone in Japan. So, men who has entered into a contract of the marriage once have to support money for women. 
 
That’s why, men also can’t give a divorce easily. 
 
Behind this background, many women cling to a contract of the marriage: “marriage = can’t break easily”, namely, “wanna be together forever = marriage”. 
 
It is not only it, and stern eyes are turned to the women who have not been married more than 30 years old. Many women think about the public image, and step into the marriage. 
 
However, Japan is not a country with a few divorces even if I said such a thing. 
Japan is one of countries that have many divorce if look worldwide. 
 
After all, there is not the guarantee that they can live happily ever after even if women/men got married how much. 
 
As for what become the tendency to be eager for marriage, the Japanese system and the world will let us do it without noticing it. 
 
 

In the end

Romantic circumstances will be different in all the countries of the world. 
 
Feeling to be in love is the same, but It’s very interesting that various views on love are different in each countries. 
 
Compared to the olden days, Japanese romantic circumstances were also changed. 
Couples were very formal relationships in the olden days. 
 
The view of love changes by the historical backdrop. 
 
Nonetheless, the feeling to be in love is not changed through the ages anytime and anywhere. 
It’s really wonderful, isn’t it? 
 
I think that I’d like to value the pure love without being tied to the view of love.